At the end of October, I will be undertaking a new routine. I will cease my trip along I-24, 440, and 65 South to Wedgewood avenue, where I have headed into what has been a five and a half year journey. I will still be getting up around 6 am to take my daughter to school, but after I drop her off on the morning of November 2, I will be embarking on yet another new quest for a slightly different shaped vocation.
I donâ€™t see my vocation or calling as changed at all. The gaps between that calling and what my tasks became in my 5 and a half years is an opportunity for me to move my mission closer to reality than it has been , or turned out to be, as I look back and see how I didn’t get to where I had hoped I would be in five and a half years.
I plan on making my customary stop at Starbuckâ€™s for my morning Pike Place brew, and as of now, it seems tome I will be spending a few minutes sitting and connecting via WiFi, and looking for what I might find by way of a place that would enable me to move closer to my true vocation; my true calling. Perhaps I will be called in to do some contract work as I have left behind some tasks that may found to be taxing on those who were accustomed to my doing them. And perhaps there will be some knowledge or abilities I have that they would want to tap at times.
As I draw closer to that time, I anticipate that I will have moments of panic. I hope I can keep my head and heart up sufficiently to keep me going and with it. I canâ€™t much afford to get into ruts. I allowed myself too much of that over the past couple of years, as I experienced long periods of disappointment with not seeing many of my dreams (ones I had for this job when I started it 5 and a half years ago ) fulfilled . Much of that is my doing (or lack thereof). I failed at communicating the vision I had (have). I came to feel at times, times that came far too often, that I was no longer able to effectively articulate it.
So I must take up a discipline of writing the renewal of this vision. It would help if I had a community to which I was accountable for this. This has been another major gap/failure for me over the past 3-4 years. I have not had a lot of time/opportunity I could depend upon to keep me constantly alive in this calling. I have to seek something to address that.