Hauerwas in this podcast (The Craft):

“Only by creating expectations in you,  do I have any hope of living faithfully”

This is the thought that keeps me going when I am tempted to say to myself “You have no right to criticize the church when you are unwilling to jump in and ‘endure it’ “.  Ideally,  I want to keep on criticizing from WITHIN,  but as long as I am still homeless in regards to the church,  this is the difficulty.  I have no way to be a member of this and play the role I am called to play without first experiencing that call that comes as a result of the kind of fellowship that I need;  that we ALL need.  All I can do is keep searching.