I notice how it’s been a day short of three weeks since I last posted.  That is a bit troubling to me.  But I won’t beat myself up.  It’s just the flow of what’s going on now.  A son starting finals next week,  and working on final projects for the previous 2 weeks.  An election.  An economic crisis.  Some worrisome tests.  And of course,  my ongoing , always present experience of exile from the church. It does me little good to realize that the church is still active and working. I just don’t know where those people are that I can get with and get going.  It’s been a long, hard process that has me questioning myself harshly,  which keeps me ever close by to having,  at a moment’s notice,  a sudden downswing in confidence (ok…call it depression).  There,  I said it.

The first word out of doctor’s mouths when they ask me about anxiety is to prescribe something.  That makes me wary.  I think this is all building up over not having a dependable place to explore with others  my spiritual journey,  and discern what God is calling me to do.