I went to a Microsoft “Launch” event last night (for Windows Server 2003 and Visual Studio.Net 2003),  got all the “Evaluation CDs”, cool pen and pad,  and a T-shirt all folded up into the shape of a Microsoft Logo.  I came within 1 of the final digit of winning a Dell PC at the end of the event,  and then I went home

Most of the night I was in kind of a daze.  Partially because I couldn’t stay with the code demos,  and kind of gave up hope of being able to follow the VB.Net examples (at least for that night).  The other part was that being there was a reminder of how many other events like this I had been to while I was still working my previous job,  and how dissatisfied I usually felt at these events about how little support I had as a developer for getting good training in these “New releases”. There always seemed to be a built-in aversion to quickly appropriating useful new features.   Even so,  the feeling that I was always being “held back” is nothing compared to the fear and uncertainty about what’s in the immediate future.  I felt SO drained sitting there and going over all of this in my head, OVER and OVER.

The whole day leading up to that event had not been one of my best. It was certainly feeling like a valley. I’m only marginally better today.