My previous post began with a bit of a confession of a struggle and a self-perception about how I have increasinglyu felt “cut off” and less “connected” to people as I have known myself to have been in the past. I had originally titled that post “Closed up out of fear or Cynicism”. I feel myself becoming bitter about the length of time it has taken for a Church to HEAR about the call that I have sensed, even though I have written about it and told people (almost pleaded with people) to visti my weblog and read about it, and have done the best I can to verbalize it, there just seems to continue to be a general “blank stare”, and sometimes open opposition to what I am suggeting about the Web as not only an INFORMATION channel, but a channel for COMMUNITY and for FORMATION.
And so when pastors express open hostility to the existence of conversation that they are not “controlling”, and opposing the idea of the Web as a vehicle for commuity, and this in the obvious refutation of what I have described as a sense of call in my life, I think my reaction is understandable, although not what I believe that God intends for me to do with that experience of “rejection”. I have not given it up by any stretch, but I sense that a “shell” has hardened around my self, so that these envisionings do not naturally flow as they have previously, or should be now.