On May 22nd, I turn 47. This will, barring some major event, be the most uncertain, disturbing one of them all. I fear that I’m too old for many prospective employers to seriously consider hiring for a Web Development position.

The only feasible scenarios I see this is for a Church related organization to see my combination of development skills and Theological Training and writings and use me like I always thought I should have been at my last job: to do more on the research and conception of Web projects than the actual code work. I could see myself being a great bridge between the “Web developers” who can amaze with their coding speed, and the Strategy/Concept team thst creates the sketch for what is being created.

I always felt that my “Online Community” convictions only served to drive a wedge deeper and deeper between me and the management. I thought that in hiring me, with all the previous work I had done in forwarding a notion of “Theological Community” that could be enabled I the online world, that I would be a part of the “envisioning”. Instead, I increasingly became more of a “developer” who worked on the code to build the Web sites envisioned by others. And even that was a difficult area in which to “succeed”, since the technologies with which I worked were not understood with sufficient depth, and as a result, neither was the growth in the skill-level to which I had been ascending in the past 2 years.

The performance evals were always a time of great frustration, for the theme was almost all on shortcomings, and any positive feedback seemed to be manipulative, in that it was used almost exclusively to be a preface to the “But….” that was to follow.