I’m awake at 4:12 am,  and have been since about 2:45.  I got “the letter” one dreads when awaiting word on a job.   It was the St. Louis job I mentioned on 2/27.  I had an inkling ,  especially once Thursday came and went last week with no word that this one was probably in the history books.  I even had nagging doubts about my responses during the interview on a couple of points.  When I woke up to use the bathroom,  I layed awake trying to shake the feeling of descending into all the doubts about one’s abilities, qualifications,  and prospects in this extremely ,  well,  SUCKY time of economic woe and increasingly tough job market.  I try to tell myself that it wasn’t what I’ve been aiming at — it’s not a Church related thing.  But I wonder how f ‘n long it’s going to take for the Church if technology companies and IT department companies are cutting back (except for the St. Louis job which I DIDN’T get).