Today I feel especially frustrated and alone in regards to the Church.  My wife must feel the same way,  since the first thing she did this morning was sit at the piano and play the tune whose words observe:  “In this very room,  there’s quite enough love for everyone”.   While I am certain that we have love in this family for each other,  and in abundance,  I am acutely aware that we need to do something to extend that into the community sense,  and to see that embodied in a Church community.   

The fact that I can stay away from involvement for the past 10 months (we have attended at about the rate of once every month for the past 3 or 4 months, maybe 2 times a month for September thru March),  and nobody has asked me why (except for a couple of occasions in context of asking me about the Website I have been updating for the Church on a minimal amount of occasions) is a little bothersome.

I know that a large piece of this is part of an overall frustration with the lack of movement toward what I would consider “working actively toward accomplishing the things I feel called to do”.  I seem to be in a place of immobilization;  I feel “stuck” in neutral.   A job whose description seemed to fit so well seemed to somehow elude my grasp.   The energy at my church seems to be absent in regards to any response to my articulated vision for the Website.  At my job,  relationships in our group seem to be continuing to deteriorate,   and attention to the matter of how to relate to the Internet customer would -be community are still being ignored when it comes to any serious efforts, planning,  or institutional support.  It is the epitome of “Clueless” in “The Clutrain Manifesto” sense.